Unsettled
by Moiya Hatake
Summary: Kakashi convinces his team mates to let him go undercover for the sake of a never ending mission. To stop an untouchable and dangerous man. But does he have alterior motives and will the mission take him down a path he cant escape?
1. ANBU Chairs and Lazy Jonins

**Author's Notes:** Another Kakashi story. Got to love Kakashi right? And I think Genma is going to play a sidekick role in this one. We shall see. Ill just let you read it cuz I dont want to give too much away already. LOL And I cant think of anything important to put in my author's notes right now because I have done nothing but work on my stories for several days in a row. My creative juices finally started to flow and now I cant get them to stop! Please review.

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**ANBU Chairs and Lazy Jonins**

Kakashi leaned forward and took the scroll from Shikamaru. They had been in the little room for hours going over the information they had so far. Maps covered the wall to the left, random pieces of paper pinned to the wall to the right, some with kunai stuck in them. It had taken them months of digging for clues to track down the compound of one Ryuujin.

'Dragon God my ass.' he thought sarcastically.

Kakashi sat back and leaned to the side wincing at the pain in his back and his butt, not to mention his neck. Oh how he hated to sit in these little rooms with no windows going over paperwork and tons of misleading information. Just to find one piece of good info that could lead to the end of the insanity of sitting in the most uncomfortable chairs in all of Konoha.

'Why did I leave ANBU? Oh yeah, because I hate these damn chairs.' he thought closing his eyes for a moment. After all no one was talking, just reading and re-reading everything. He had it all practically memorized by now. He could recite the last six months without looking at anything in this stupid room that just seemed too damn small for this many shinobi.

'Why the hell are we sitting here still? Oh yeah. The mission that never ends. Full of dead ends, no hope. Do not pass go, do not collect...'

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi cracked open one eye, the only eye he could he mused, and peered out over the table where the other three shinobi were looking rather annoyed with him "What?" he asked as if he didn't know why they were calling his name to begin with. He tossed the scroll back to Shikamaru and sighed sitting up "I was listening. Honestly." he yawned scratching his cloth covered chin.

Genma smirked and rolled his senbon to the other side of his mouth before turning back to the topic at hand. "I say we go in, big operation, lots of shinobi, and ask them politely to just stop arming the enemy with nice weapons killing innocent civilians." The room was silent for a moment before someone coughed. "We can say please." he added. Kakashi rolled his eye and started doodling on a piece of paper.

"Alright. We're not getting anywhere tonight with this. Not with you three goofing off." Sasuke stopped folding his notepad into little paper shuriken and tossed one at Shikamaru's head. 'Who knew he had a sense of humor and paper folding abilities to boot?' Kakashi thought adding hair to his masterpiece of a naked woman.

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. They had been at it for nearly ten hours now with only one break. Somehow, when he got the recent report that supported the information they had received last week that the location of the weapons dealer had been found, he thought things would be less complicated.

But after sitting around all day with three of the best shinobi in the village, Naruto had been off on his own mission for the last two weeks, they hadn't gotten much further in figuring out the best way to deal with the problem. Several issues posed several problems and each one ran into a dead end. And beating their heads against a brick wall wasn't getting them anywhere any time soon.

The four shinobi semi-organized the room before leaving. Kakashi stopped at the door and formed hand seals, it vanished, he sighed and headed up the hall. It was all so troublesome he smirked, reminding himself of Shikamaru in his younger days. 'He never says that anymore.' he thought pushing the door open at the end of the hall and quickly signing his name at the small desk before disappearing.

Kakashi had refused to take the lead on this one and handed it to Shikamaru immediately. After all, he had been promoted to the ANBU Tactical and Retrieval Unit recently. He needed the experience. Who was Kakashi to take that joy from the youth of Konoha? In truth he was just being lazy. Or rather he had been in a slump lately and wasn't interested in playing shinobi.

Tsunade had ordered him to see someone. A shinobi therapist if he remembered correctly. He never showed. 'Of coarse I never showed. What was she thinking?' he shook his head. Jiraiya had even come for a visit. Brought him the new book. Just for him. That was two months ago. He hadn't read it yet. Sasuke seemed to be talking to him more lately. 'If I didn't know any better I would think my ex-student was worried about me.' he smirked.

Plunging his hands into his pockets to protect them from the cold he looked up at the stars. It was a crystal clear evening, something he noticed whenever it was this cold. Like the stars had turned to ice and twinkled even brighter. He hated October. It was always a confusing month. Either too cold or too warm. Windy or not windy, never in between. It rained sometimes too. But never consistently.

'Naruto's birthday is this month.' he thought still staring up at the vast darkness of twinkling lights. His father had told him once when he was very small that they were the souls of dead shinobi watching over them. Kakashi wondered for a brief moment which one was Yondaime and if he would twinkle brighter on his sons birthday. 'It'll probably rain that day.' he sighed.

Sakura looked up from the pile of books she was carrying and smiled. She had been trying to find her old sensei and take him out to lunch or something for a while. But he always seemed to...she blinked and he was gone. 'Damn him. He always seems to disappear just as Im going to call his name.' She, Naruto and Sasuke had been conspiring against him for some time. But as always, he was several steps ahead of them in the game of cat and mouse.

Kakashi stretched out on the balcony of his apartment 'They just wont learn. I don't want to talk to them. There's nothing wrong with me a good bottle of warm sake and a warm body wont cure.' Kakashi tugged down his mask and took a deep breath closing his eyes. Too tired to read or think or care. If he was lucky he would wake up with a cold from sleeping outside and get to stay home instead of going back to the little cramped room.

'Im never that lucky.' he thought yawning and tucking his hands under his arms. He just didn't feel like going into his dark, empty apartment tonight. Well, most nights it seemed lately. He was unsettled. Almost disturbingly unsettled about something. He wasn't sure what it was or when this feeling started. If he thought hard enough he was sure he could pick out the moment or even the day. It wasn't driving him crazy. Or was it?

Everyone else seemed to think so. They kept asking if he was feeling ok or if he needed to talk. That part was definitely driving him nuts. He just wanted to be left alone damn it. Why couldn't they see that and just respect his wishes? Its not like he was all that social before this all started. So how did they know anything was wrong to begin with? And who made it their business anyways?

Kakashi opened his eyes and glared up at the stars. He couldn't sleep with so much crap in his head. In fact, he wasn't sure when was the last time he slept peacefully or at least more than just a couple of hours. Then he remembered something that made him smile. The reason they all started thinking he was nuts.

Of coarse, when Hatake Kakashi walks out on a mission there must be something wrong with him. He rolled his eyes at the memory. The client was driving him insane and then tried to marry him off to his thirteen year old daughter. As if he was a pedofile or something. Kakashi glared up at the stars again. He swore the stars themselves were cursing him for every little decision he made.

There were two things he was very passionate about. People who hurt kids and people who hurt defenseless women. In his opinion, anyone fitting either of those two descriptions should be treated how they treat others. Then killed. A slow painful death. That's what they deserved. And a man who was willing to pass off his thirteen year old daughter to some stranger not knowing what could happen to her...Kakashi growled in frustration.

'And they think Im crazy because I walked out? I wonder what they would have thought if I had stayed and actually killed the man.'

It wasn't like it was all that important a mission. The guy was paranoid to begin with. No one had been after him but his own shadow. So maybe he shouldn't have told the guy to fuck off he thought taking another deep breath and trying to get his body to relax. It was unsettled. He was unsettled. 'Everything was so god damn fucking unsettled!' his brain screamed and he finally stood up and headed inside.

Stripping down on his way to the bathroom, he switched on the shower and stared at himself in the mirror. 'I need a mission. And not a baby sitting mission either. Something that's dangerous and keeps me out of Konoha for a while.' Ruffling his hair he climbed in under the hot water and leaned against the tiled wall. Palms pressed flat, head hanging between his arms as the heat of the water turned his skin red and melted any tension in his muscles from sitting in those stupid chairs all day.

He lifted his head and grinned. He had a fantastic idea for getting out of Konoha. A mission that would be dangerous for sure. An important mission where he could utilize his abilities to their fullest. An ANBU mission. A solo ANBU mission! No one to ask him how he felt or care how he felt. And time. To figure out what the hell was wrong with him. Also, fighting bad guys in more way than one. Hell, he would get to play the bad guy for awhile. Then, when they least expected it, he'd kill them. Kakashi grinned then shook his head.

Ok, maybe he wouldn't kill them unless they deserved it he thought grabbing the soap. But he would get to take out his frustration on them eventually. That was something to look forward to. And it was always fun being right under their noses. Making them feel safe and comfortable. Like a cat preparing to take down its prey. Then he could come back to Konoha feeling like his old self and no one would be the wiser that he had planned the whole thing.

'Call it Hatake Therapy. It's not like I haven't done it before.'

Now all he had to do was convince the others of his plan without anyone thinking he was suicidal. Which he knew they would. Because they were all baka's who worried too much about his sanity. 'Aren't all genius shinobi and ex-ANBU a little eccentric?' he grinned scrubbing his face before rinsing off completely. 'Hell, you have to be just to join ANBU and survive.'

Turning off the water he grabbed a towel from the shelf and shoved back the curtain. He felt a lot better now that he had a plan. Something to look forward to. Something he was sure would help rid him of the stupid feeling he had been having for the last year and was steadily growing out of control. He looked up at himself in the mirror again "Ok I admit it. There's something definitely wrong with you. Happy?" He frowned.

So maybe he was starting to think he was a few pieces short of a whole puzzle. Maybe the others were right this whole time and he was losing it. Tossing the towel in the corner of the bathroom before heading to his room he considered his line of thinking and then shook his head 'I may be eccentric, but Im not crazy.' He hadn't even bothered to turn on any lights when he came in from the cold, so all he had to do was fall into bed and hope this night would finally be the night he really slept.

He felt tired for the first time in a long time. Emotionally tired. Bone tired. Something he used to only feel after an ANBU mission when he ran around with his porcelain mask and no one to worry about but himself. And all he could do was think about the last year of his life. Which somehow began when he was a child and ended with his body hitting the bed. His brain, always analyzing everything, just wouldn't quite. Even when he ordered it to.

What was so damn important that his brain was trying to figure out nearly every day for the last year? The more his mind went over his behavior, his thoughts, his feelings, the more he realized he had been acting a bit neurotic, maybe even crazy if he looked at it from everyone else's point of view. He had been irritable. Anti-social. More so than before. Or rather, like he had been a very long time ago.

Nothing made him happy anymore. Not even Icha Icha. He didn't want to be around his ex-students. Naruto and Hinata were always together. Getting married soon. Sasuke wasn't dating anyone. But he was the happiest an Uchiha could be considering he was the only Uchiha left and he had survived Orochimaru then returned to the village he had deserted and was despised by for a long time.

And Sakura. Well she did what Sakura did. Continued to prove her worth. Mini-Tsunade they called her. Unless she was around to hear it. Occasionally dating but happy otherwise. So why, out of the four members of the no longer together Team Kakashi, was he the only one miserable? He wasn't miserable before he met them. He wasn't miserable while he knew them. He shouldn't be miserable now.

Maybe he should seriously consider finding that bottle of sake and a good woman with no strings attached. He knew where he could find a few Genma hadn't tapped already. Maybe if he was more like Genma he wouldn't be having this problem in the first place he thought rubbing his forehead and glancing over at the clock. It was already 2 am. He smiled.

'If I were more like Genma I would have already contracted a disease and would be dying right about now. At least then I wouldn't be unsettled about whatever it is Im unsettled about.'

'Unsettled. What a strange sounding word. To not be settled. Settled as in settling for something. Settling down. Un as in not doing either of those things. So Im not settling. For what though? I sure as hell am not settling down.' he frowned and rolled over tucking his arms under his pillow and closing his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep and not think for just one minute.


	2. The Senbon Sucker & the Great Copy Brat

**Author's Notes:** I think I have too much fun coming up with weird titles for the chapters. LOL But I think it makes it more interesting and fits with the monologues. I tried to keep with the style I started with in the first chapter, but may have strayed a little. Although the first chapter was mostly Kakashi's mixed up thoughts, setting up the story. So I wont cry a river of tears if it isnt perfect. Anyway, enjoy and review if you please. I love to hear what you think!!

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**The Senbon Sucker and the Great Copy Brat**

Kakashi was getting annoyed with the looks he was getting from the shinobi surrounding the table. He had expected some small amount of 'What the hell made you think of that?', but not looks that screamed 'Are you fucking crazy?' Shikamaru was the first to relax and sat in his chair, folding his hands as he considered Kakashi's proposal.

'Im not crazy!' Kakashi glared one last time at each of them as if they could read his mind.

Genma finally stood up, walking around the table to where he had unintentionally lodged his senbon in the wall. Plucking it out, he stuck it back in his mouth and shifted it nervously back and forth considering his friend. Even Sasuke looked shocked. If you considered raising one black eyebrow half a centimeter shocked.

Shikamaru looked up at him, staring for a long time, as if contemplating the rumors that Kakashi had indeed lost it. His idea seemed to suggest he had. But he couldn't completely ignore the idea of sending someone in undercover to gather more information. If he hadn't heard the rumors, would he still think the plan insane? No, not insane, just...complicated.

"Submit your..." he started as a scroll was chucked at his head. Snatching it from its flight of doom he gave Kakashi a reproachful look before un rolling it. It was indeed an detailed plan of the mission the jonin was pitching to his team. Shikamaru only saw one flaw. Kakashi wanted to go in alone. Any other mission he wouldn't have gave it a second thought.

But Ryuujin and his so called thugs were not something even the great Copy Nin could deal with on his own if the information was correct. It did make sense to send one undercover shinobi to reduce suspicion. But it increased the probability that the mission would fail. Would anyone think the famous Hatake had actually broke from Konoha, charged with a failed assassination attempt?

Shikamaru knew in fact they wouldn't. But if two shinobi were charged. Especially if one was a trained assassin with an oral fixation and just as perverted as the man proposing the mission, who he reminded himself, was rumored to be going mad. That scenario might be compelling enough to convince even someone as suspicious and untrusting as the so called Dragon God.

"Ill look over your plan. Work out the kinks. Until then, if no one has anything to add..."

"Why the sudden desire to take a mission when we all know you haven't had any motivation or interest to do anything for several months? And not just any mission. You want to take an S-class mission and you want to do it alone."

Everyone stared at Sasuke, who had said more in one breath than the entire time he had been back in Konoha. The Uchiha didn't take his eyes off Kakashi's and the tension in the room thickened to such a degree that Genma and Shikamaru felt the sudden desire to be somewhere else.

"He wont be going in alone."

Kakashi redirected his cold stare to Shikamaru, 'I knew I shouldn't have given this to a snot nosed...' Slowly he stood and headed for the door. Even he had enough sense to know he was two seconds from snapping. Once outside the door he tugged down his mask took a deep breath through his nose. If he was aware of himself and his reactions, he couldn't be crazy. Right?

"Uchiha has brass balls!" Genma grinned.

"Same time tomorrow."

Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose, sitting quietly as Sasuke and Genma disappeared through the door. He had a feeling, something deep in his gut, that warned him when Hatake Kakashi handed him this assignment and took a back seat, things would not end well. Maybe the rumors were true. Maybe the man had seen enough in his lifetime that he was finally breaking down.

Its not like it hadn't happened to other shinobi. Especially ones with experience in ANBU. He just never thought it would happen to someone like Kakashi. Grabbing nothing more than the scroll the man in question had given him, he headed out the door. He had something to do before he agreed to the plans in his hand.

It took over an hour to convince the Hokage that he needed Hatake's records without being able to tell her why. Then it took another hour, sitting in a small room in ANBU headquarters, for the file to arrive. And much to Shikamaru's surprise and irritation, it was incomplete.'Damn it.' He should have known, even with his clearance, if he didn't give her a reason she wouldn't give him everything.

Genma found Kakashi in the middle of a slightly disturbed ANBU training area. Slightly being an understatement. It was clear he had taken out some frustrations on the foliage, the rocks, the posts. Pretty much everything within a quarter mile radius had been uprooted, cracked, smashed, stabbed, punched, or burned.

He shook his head at the jonin laying on his back staring up at the sky. 'This guy needs to get laid.'

"Fuck you Genma."

Kakashi rolled over and pushed up, plucking a kunai out of the ground as he stood. Casually twirling it, he eyed the man grinning at him before quickly slipping the kunai into a hidden pocket in his vest. Genma's eyes had followed it from the moment he noticed the strange shape and kanji on the handle.

"So you can read minds now too. Im impressed." Genma scratched his chin while meandering over to his friend.

"Just your mind."

"Simple minds think a like? Is that what your trying to say?"

"Eat shit.

"Not a nice thing to say to your undercover partner." Genma grinned at the surprised look then the roll of one eye. 'Man, he really is worked up if it took him that long to figure out what I was talking about.'

It was obvious wasn't it? Between Genma, the not well known trained assassin, and a famous Uchiha who's face was plastered all over God's green Earth. Shikamaru would send the assassin to play pretend with the great Copy brat.

Sasuke was too well known to be believed that he would do something as lowly as be hired out by some moron he could kill just by thinking about him. The kid was the heir to an entire clan. Money was not an issue. Kakashi's only advantage over the Uchiha was that he already had a years worth of rumors saying he was slowly going crazy and losing his touch.

His behavior so far would back up those rumors if anyone came asking about him. Then Genma was suddenly inspired. What if he had just one good incident? Something that would spread like wildfire across Fire Country and really get people thinking and nodding their heads in agreement when it was announced he had betrayed Konoha.

Kakashi eyed Genma suspiciously, "What?"

But would be it a good idea to antagonize the kyuubi-harboring future Hokage into getting his ass kicked in public?

Even with the little bit of knowledge Shikamaru had managed to fit together from Kakashi's file, he felt he knew enough about the man to proceed with the mission. With a few of his own changes of coarse he sighed handing the thick file back to the ANBU he knew was waiting just outside the door.

Staring at the walls of information they had gathered so far, Shikamaru pulled open Kakashi's scroll and started going over every detail step by step. If anything, he was thorough. Nothing could be dismissed or overlooked. As much as Kakashi and Genma annoyed him to no end, they were valued members of Konoha and good shinobi.

Tsunade would have his ass for getting the two killed if he screwed up. Shikamaru pulled out a new scroll and started writing. Not to mention, the swooning female population who hold out hope that the famed Hatake would actually settle down or at the very least say yes to their never ending propositions. Then there was Genma. He couldn't decide if the women would be pissed or thankful when it came to the walking erection that was Shiranui.

Probably both he decided yawning.

"You want me to do what?"

Kakashi continued to gather the various weapons scattered over the recent landscaping job he had indulged himself in, stuffing them in his pack as he went, "Have you taken one too many thumps to the melon Shiranui?"

"Don't tell me you wouldn't love it. Knocking that little brat around and pissing him off. I know he's a demon carrying air head, but you can still take him."

Kakashi actually stopped and Genma could see he was actually picturing it in his mind. He had taken advantage of Kakashi's mood for lack of a better word and played it to the fullest. As testy as the elite jonin was, he had to be itching to kick someone's ass. Why not beat up on an old student for all the whining and complaining he had done over the years.

"Think about it. You could tell him things that you've been dying to say for years. Like therapy."

Kakashi threw Genma a very dangerous look, stopping him in his tracks. The man had a point, but it was pissing him off. He would never say or do anything to hurt Naruto intentionally. But for the mission. He knew Genma had a good idea and that it would work. Of all the people who trusted him. Naruto believing he had lost it, seeing it with his own eyes, would help the illusion become real for everyone else.

Especially when the witnesses began to spread the news.

Naruto would understand once the mission was over and he could finally explain. Buy him all the ramen he wanted to make up for it. He would have to lie in his verbal assault though and that's what would hurt the most. Hurt them both. And then there was the problem that if pushed, kyuubi might make an appearance. He would have to bring Yamato into the plan.

Genma watched silently as the wheels in Kakashi's head turned. He knew he had him. It was a good plan, no a great plan. 'Genma Shiranui, elite jonin and ANBU extraordinaire, as well as sexiest man in Konoha, came up with a brilliant plan!' he smiled around his senbon, 'And its killing the great Copy brat to admit it.'

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at his friend. It was obvious the man was gloating, patting himself on the back and waiting for recognition from him. He had a long wait he thought sarcastically. He wasn't so crazy that he would admit anything to the senbon sucking pervert. Especially if he was going gloat.

'Im not crazy.' he reminded himself, 'Just...unsettled.'


	3. It's Over and Cockroaches Die

**Author's Notes: **Another strange title. This chappy has less talking and more narration, so bare with me. Im setting things up for a stronger plot than I had originally planned. This chappy was less sarcatic and funny too. I tried, I guess I just wasnt in the mood for witty come backs. LOL As always, please review so I have an idea if this story is working for you or not. Hugs for all those who are reading and reviewing. Thanks so much!

**Edit:** Have replaced my scene breaks with the only option has given authors, page breaks. Hope it doesnt look too crazy. Thanks for reading.

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It's Over and Cockroaches Die

"Hey! Kaka-sensei!"

Kakashi tensed briefly and continued walking.

At least until his path was blocked. Naruto stood in a huff mere inches away from the man he had been looking for all morning. Kakashi having avoided him as best he could without actually losing him. Which theses days wasn't as difficult as it used to be.

Naruto was ANBU after all. He wasn't the struggling loud mouth knucklehead who came blazing in at the last minute just to trip and land on his face. He was tall, like his dad Kakashi noted trying not to grin, and he was equally as talented.

The one thing he apparently didn't inherit from the late Yondaime, was his subtle ability to handle delicate situations. Where his late sensei would find a less obvious approach to Kakashi's temper tantrum, Naruto was up in his face ready to start a fight.

He exchanged a quick glance with Sasuke over Naruto's shoulder and raised the book back up to cover his face, stepping around the hyperactive shinobi, "I told you. Im not your sensei anymore Naruto. Go play with Sasuke. Or Sakura. Like a good little kyuubi brat."

Naruto reached out and spun Kakashi around by his shoulder, "Sakura is the reason I came looking for you. What the hell is wrong with you? She wouldn't tell me what you said to her because she was too busy crying!"

Slowly, Kakashi lowered the book and glanced over at the hand still clenching his shoulder, "You might want to take back that hand before you lose it." His voice was low and dangerous as his eyes flicked back up to Naruto's.

Naruto dropped his hand to his side, no longer angry, just hurt, "I don't know what happened to the man I used to look up to. But the Kakashi I know wouldn't treat his friends the way you have for nearly a year."

"Maybe Im not the man you thought I was." Kakashi countered, painfully aware of the people hesitantly watching them. The plan was working, but it was harder than he thought it would be seeing the pain in Naruto's eyes.

It had been just as hard to make the cold comments to Sakura when he had allowed her to find him two days before, helping Sasuke set up the current situation. They both knew Naruto still had a soft spot for the pink haired kunoichi.

Kakashi shifted on his feet, looking bored as he slid his book into his pouch and plastered a cocky grin on his face to add to the effect of his next statement, "I only told her the truth. Like I told Hinata not hours before. Although, I had expected Hinata to cry not Sakura." he added off handedly rubbing his chin.

Sasuke had to fight to keep the straight face. Genma nearly choked on his senbon. Yamato merely rolled his eyes. Kakashi was improvising as usual. All three men knew he was using Naruto's biggest weakness against him.

As soon as Kakashi sensed his plan wasn't having the desired effect, he automatically used his trump card. He needed Naruto to pick a fight with him. Not give him a heartfelt speech on his behavior. Kakashi grinned under his mask, daring Naruto to respond.

When he didn't, he continued to push the blonde as he turned his back to him and prepared to walk away, "You three have been nagging at me for months. Trying to get into my head. It's too bad Hinata just happened to catch me on the day I didn't feel like keeping my personal opinion to myself."

Naruto growled, pulling back his fist as he rushed the few feet, slamming it into thin air as Kakashi's hand grabbed the back of his neck and his leg came up, tripping the irrate blonde face first into the dirt, "You'll have to do better than that."

Genma appeared at Kakashi's side, "Now isn't the time to attract attention." he whispered, knowing Naruto could hear him. Kakashi started to release Naruto's neck, and nodded to his partner.

Naruto took instant advantage and elbowed Kakashi in the face, rolling with the momentum and kicking him in the side of the head, "Your not Kakashi-sensei! You arrogant, selfish, bastard!"

Kakashi's arm wrapped around Naruto's leg, the other around the back of his head, jerking him forward so they were face to face, "No. Im just the man who is sick and tired of listening to a bunch of sniveling brats complain about their lives!"

Hooking his leg around the other, Kakashi kicked it out from under the blonde only to find Naruto had used his falling weight to jerk him down as well, a foot landing in his chest as he was sent flying.

Landing on his feet, one hand on the ground, he slid back several feet. Naruto was already standing and rushing at him in frustration, "What makes you an expert on other peoples pain!?" he yelled sending several very fast kicks and hits at Kakashi's face and body, trying to land just one.

"Fuck off!" Kakashi growled grabbing Naruto's foot in mid kick, twisting around, his elbow connecting with Naruto's face and sending him crashing to the ground on his back. Genma froze, as well as Yamato. Sasuke looked confused, but hadn't missed the genuine rage in the older shinobi's voice.

Exchanging glances, the three ANBU debated on wether or not the staged fight was about to turn real, for both sides. Naruto was the only one that was suppose to lose control, not the other way around. Clearly, whatever had been making the silver haired jonin act strangely and spark rumors of his sanity was interfering.

Kakashi ignored the blood soaking his mask, even if it was hindering his ability to breath. He had let something in himself slip. Something he had been holding just beneath the surface. And he didn't like where it was taking him.

Unsettled was only a part of his problem he realized as he watched Naruto push up into a sitting position, "It's over. Im done. With everything." he stated clearly for everyone to hear and disappeared before he really did lose control and turn the fight personal on his part.

Genma followed instantly, leaving Sasuke and Yamato to complete the illusion and help get the gossip rolling with a few well placed remarks questioning Kakashi's behavior as they helped Naruto up. But neither jonin felt they had to do much. Kakashi's loss of control, his cold remarks seemed to be working for them.

Naruto jerked away, still glaring at where his ex-sensei had been only moments before. He wouldn't let the tears well up, but Sasuke could sense the pain his friend was feeling. Naruto wasn't one to give up on people, to let them slip away. He was proof of that. He knew the blonde would fight for Kakashi.

But it wasn't Naruto they were trying to convince. Sasuke looked around at the whispering people still lingering, others silent and staring in disbelief. He knew the witnesses would have the story spread to the borders of Fire Country by the end of the week.

The rest was up to Kakashi and Genma. Suspicion and doubt had to be planted like a weed for the plan to work. After the scene in the street, the two of them being seen together and strange behavior observed by other shinobi as well as villagers, all that would be left was the assassination and escape.

Shikamaru shifted within the shadow of his hiding place. He only had to confirm his suspicions now that he had witnessed a small break in the mans armor. After what he had read, or rather what he had managed to piece together from the few clues in Kakashi's file, he was sure he knew the mans motivation behind the mission.

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Kakashi stuffed the last of his precious belongings into a box and sealed it with a chakra infused tag. Everything else had been given away or sold. Every cent of his savings had been pulled out of his account to make it look as if he had taken it for himself Instead, it had been placed securely into another account under a different name.

Genma had gone through the same routine. He had even stopped harassing the woman in exchange for being seen with Kakashi in shadier parts of Konoha. The two men carrying on what appeared to be private conversations.

Add in a few secret meetings with an unknown person while being followed by Konoha ANBU who weren't privy to their mission, and they had a cover that even Ryuujin couldn't ignore. And all reports of the two shinobi went straight to Tsunade who did an excellent job of playing her part.

The only piece of the puzzle left was the person they were suppose to assassinate. After much debating and arguing, they finally settled on a person who could live to tell the tale and help spread the rumors even further. A slight deviation from their original plan. But the new target could help their illusion by putting up one hell of a fight and making it look real without getting the two shinobi killed.

Gaara seemed more than happy to play the part for them and immediately arranged a cover story to visit the allied village as soon as possible. Upon his arrival he explained his interest in the mission to infiltrate and take down the so called Dragon God. Apparently Sand had been on the receiving end of Ryuujins customers. Several villages along their border had been attacked over the last three months.

And new, more dangerous weapons weren't the only things he seemed to be specializing in.

When the Kazekage described the effects of a new jutsu and several poisons which appeared to be dispersed in the air by exploding tags, the Konoha shinobi sat quietly for several minutes. With the new evidence provided to them by the Kazekage, it was clear that someone was testing these weapons and planning to start a war.

* * *

Kakashi watched the water trickle down the window pane. All the new information buzzing around his head , not allowing him to sleep. Genma sat at the table, senbons laid out in neat little rows. Several already coated with a thin layer of poison he had selected specifically for this mission.

Gaara had insisted the battle look as real as possible. Much for their sake as his own. After all, he was Kazekage. It wouldn't look good for the two shinobi, no matter how talented and experienced, to cause him unbelievable damage.

Kakashi remembered the slight smirk on the red heads face when he had made his request. He honestly believed the young man was enjoying himself and his part in the scene they were about to create. Secretly he wished he knew he would enjoy it as well. It was, after all, the break in his unsettled life he was looking for.

The reason he had suggested the mission.

But now, more was at stake than just his sanity.

What was suppose to be a difficult, be revealing and cleansing mission to eliminate a bad guy and return to Konoha feeling more like his old self, had turned into a nightmare and only added to the odd feeling he had been having for so long. Genma wasn't suppose to tag along. Weapons of mass destruction weren't suppose to be involved. And psycho warmongering baka's definitely weren't part of the Hatake therapy he had worked out for himself.

He was beginning to think he was a lost cause.

He knew the lady pushing the cleaning cart up the hall outside their little room was fighting a lost cause. No amount of cleaning would make the crappy little shit hole he was standing in any more cozy he thought stabbing a cockroach with his kunai.


	4. Psycho Babble and Gay Shinobi's

**Author's Notes:** Ok, I know this chappy is shorter than the others. But I had to end it where I did for effect. The next chappy will be ready soon. I just have to work out some things. Also, I have to give credit for an idea I have used in this story. **Breaking** was originally used in the very first story I ever read called "Butterfly In Reverse." You can find it here on fanfiction. Although, it hasnt been updated since 2005. This made me very sad because it is fantastic. It does have 18 chapters so if your interested you should go read it. I think the Author's name was bite the hand that feeds, but dont quote me on that. Anyway, I used the idea of a shinobi breaking and it being called as such because it made sense as it was explained in the story mentioned above. But I wanted to make sure the original idea and author was given due credit. I probably wont use it again in this story because it's been made obvious that Kakashi isnt really breaking if we go by the original description. He's just...what's the word to describe him again? Oh yeah, unsettled. LOL

As a side note, the beginning is mostly narration and the end has more dialogue, so it may read weird. But oh well, you'll get over it Im sure. :) NOW, on with the show!

* * *

**Psycho Babble and Gay Shinobi's**

"Is it true?" Genma broke the silence and started placing the poison coated senbons into the holster strapped to his right leg, "What you said to Naruto. Are you done?"

Kakashi walked over to the bed and started placing the various weapons in their respective hiding places throughout his uniform. He thought about having to get a new one when he got back from the mission. After all, the one he was wearing was about to become obsolete he realized. He wasn't expecting them to come out of their battle with the Kazekage unscathed. Their injuries would add to the illusion.

Kakashi finally turned to face Genma, who was now standing with his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for an answer. Thinking for several long seconds, Kakashi realized he didn't have an answer for his friend. So he simply stared back, expressionless, as usual. He didn't know why he had said what he said to Naruto that day. His anger had flared and the words just fell out of his mouth without asking his brain for permission.

When he didn't get a response, Genma shifted and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Just answer me one question and I wont bother you again about your personal, yet idiotic, reason for wanting this mission." He searched Kakashi's impassive face, knowing his friend too well to actually expect to see anything. But the man's behavior during his street brawl was out of character and it was enough for the senbon specialist to be rightfully concerned.

"Im not crazy if that's what your wondering." Kakashi blurted out. Again his mouth going on without the rest of him. He really needed to do something about that he sighed mentally but continued to glare.

"No. I know better than to even ask that. We're all a little twisted. You have to be to do what we do. Naruto and the others wont ever understand because they were raised during a time of peace." Genma's eyes became slightly unfocused, as if he was remembering, then raising his eyes to meet Kakashi's, they locked in a silent stare down, "But we all break at some point." he commented rather than ask the sharingan user his initial question.

His partners silence gave him the answer he had been searching for. How many times had he reached a point where the whole damn thing was just too much? When he just wanted to walk away from it all? Too many to count he frowned. Most shinobi had something they came home to that helped them forget for a little while that they were tools of Konoha.

Especially during the war.

He had chosen his outlet a long time ago. Women. God he loved them. The way they smelled, smiled, laughed. They felt nice too. Not just in bed, but all the time. They were soft, curvy and delicate like flowers. Even some of Konoha's kunoichi managed to hold onto their femininity while still being strong, capable and dangerous. It was when he was with a woman that he felt human again. Leaving everything else at the gate, he immersed himself in his favorite pastime.

So he got a little crazy sometimes. Even he would admit to bed hopping more than he should. It worked for him. Especially when coming home from a really bad mission. And despite the jokes and comments, he hadn't ever contracted anything unappealing from any of his affairs. So far. Also, to his knowledge, he hadn't left behind anything unwanted either. He hoped.

Genma flinched at the thought of a little Shiranui. Not completely ridiculous or nauseatingly scary he shrugged after a moment. 'But what if there's more than one...' he thought, suddenly imagining a large map with little red dots marking all the places, cough _women_, he had visited where the possibility of a mini-Genma existed. Shuddering, he quickly pushed the image out of his head and refocused on the reason he had gone down that line of thinking to begin with.

It was obvious that Kakashi's books were no longer a strong enough outlet to keep away the demons every shinobi carried around with them. And he was only assuming the books were the man's chosen form of coping with his so called demons. Noone ever saw him without one of his favorite little novels hovering in front of his face. That is until recently. Reflecting on the last twelve months or so, Genma realized he hadn't seen the Copy brat reading any his favorite books.

He eyed Kakashi suspiciously, earning a even deadlier glare in return.

'It happens though.' he thought sadly, considering the silent man in front of him. Sometimes a shinobi's choice of dealing wasn't good enough and it was those moments when most shinobi simply snapped. Especially shinobi with experiences like his and Kakashi's. _Breaking_ was the ANBU term for those who at some point in their career had cracked under the stress. It was considered a personal and private matter to be dealt with the upmost discretion out of respect for the shinobi.

They were unpredictable. Usually ranging from bad to very bad to holy shit situations in which the person had to be subdued. They were also temporary. Lasting no more than a week or so if it was severe and as little as a two or three days. Someone would volunteer to stay with them, a team mate most likely, just to make sure they didn't do anything really stupid. But he hadn't met a shinobi yet that didn't recover enough to return to active duty.

Kakashi was anything but normal.

The man never did anything that could be labeled normal. Hell, he wasn't even in the same category as the rest of ANBU. Who could blame him? He was practically born in a uniform with a kunai in one hand and a perverted book in the other. _Childhood_ wasn't a word in Hatake Kakashi's vocabulary. But his behavior, attitude, reactions, all told Genma that if he was breaking, it was a long drawn out process that was slowly driving the man insane.

Even if he did keep insisting he wasn't crazy.

Genma's frown deepened once he realized the man he had been contemplating was grinning at him from behind his stupid mask, "What are you smiling about old man?"

"Do you always look constipated when you think? Or is it a special face you reserve for me?"

"Its special. You really are an ass you know that? And your avoiding..."

"Relax Genma. It's not what you think." Kakashi's eye twinkled mischievously as he walked around his partner and headed for the door, "Im not into guys. Anymore."

"How do you know what Im thinking?" Genma growled irritably, quickly moving to catch up, "And what do you mean _anymore_!?"

Kakashi stopped and turned, looking Genma up and down slowly before grinning, "Although, I might make an exception in your case."

"Don't look at me like that, it gives me the creeps!" Genma threatened under his breath, trying not to raise his voice and attract unwanted attention, "And what did you mean by _anymore _you hentai?"

Kakashi shrugged and continued up the hall as Genma briskly walked to catch up for the second time after being left standing with a not too cool look on his face. Snapping out of his initial shock of being eyed like a piece of meat by the man he was about to spend several months with, "Your not really gay, are you?" he whispered, a hint of concern in his voice, "Seriously, you can tell me."

Kakashi stopped again, Genma nearly running into him, "Are you asking because your interested?" he plastered a look of hopeful curiosity on his face, one silver eyebrow wiggled suggestively.

Genma turned red and stepped back, "You're an ass."

"I think we've established that." Kakashi slouched as if he was disappointed with the answer then held out his hand towards the elevator door offering to let Genma go first, "And your gullible. Look that up in the dictionary if your not sure what it means." he commented as Genma walked past.

"Am I gay?" Kakashi repeated sarcastically and chuckled, moving to stand next to Genma before punching the ground floor button. As the elevator doors closed, he leaned back as if admiring Genma's backside then straightened up, smiling at the brown haired jonin who was glaring at the door intently.

Arms crossed over his chest like a child pitching a fit, brow knitted together, face turning red, "I hate you." Genma growled not looking over at his perverted counterpart.

Kakashi mentally patted himself on the back for a job well done. Another conversation deviously avoided. Not that he had to avoid it, he could simply refuse to talk about his little problem. But he had to get the senbon sucking psychiatrist to stop looking at him like he was an unstable exploding tag that could blow up in his face at any moment. Messing with Genma's head not only accomplished this goal in a very humorous and satisfying way, it also managed to lighten the mood.

After all, they were about to attack a Kage and get their ass's handed to them, turning themselves into S-class criminals, and ultimately joining a World Domination Club for deviants so they could spend God only knows how long playing bad guys and thereby saving the world.

What's not exciting about that?


	5. Elbow, Nose, Foot, Rock and Bugs?

**Author's Notes:** This chapter took a long time to perfect. And it may still be flawed. LOL What else can I say? On to the story!!!

* * *

**Elbow, Nose, Foot, Rock...Bugs?**

It had only been two weeks since their so called assassination attempt and they were already at each others throats. Kakashi turned his back to his partner, lifting his shirt to examine the bandage, which had already soaked through in the last two and half hours they had been moving. Neither shinobi had slept much since they fled Konoha. Neither had eaten much either. They had to keep moving, relocating, keeping their senses on high alert.

The moment word got out that the great Hatake Kakashi had turned traitor and was considered an S-class criminal by his own village, hunter nins had been on their ass trying to collect bounties and make a name for themselves. Genma spent the better part of his waking hours defending his famous partner and the fact that the hunter nins considered him more of an annoyance than a threat was really starting to piss him off. So they bickered for a lack of anything better to do.

They slept when they could and scavenged for food, eating anything that wasn't poisonous, while avoiding all forms of human contact. They had to appear to be in hiding until their first meeting with Sasuke and Shikamaru, which was two and half months away. The only upside to being hunted and constantly moving was that word would get around of their hit and miss sightings, adding fuel to the fire that they had indeed turned traitor.

Genma pulled out a roll of bandages and a small bag with a green oatmeal looking substance, dropping his pack at Kakashi's feet, "Lift." he grunted motioning for his partner to pull up his shirt for him. Kakashi glared and leaned against the tree gulping down what was left of his water. Genma narrowed his eyes and grabbed the bottom of the jonins shirt, jerking it up and ripping the soiled bandage off in one swift movement, "Do you always have to be an ass. Hold your fucking shirt up...please!" he ordered through gritted teeth.

The stare down lasted only a few minutes before Kakashi complied, although Genma was sure retribution would come later when he least expected it. Kneeling down he rub a glob of the green paste into the burn and spread it out evenly, then wiped his hand on Kakashi's pant leg. If he was in any pain, the silver haired jonin didn't show it. But Genma could feel the shinobi's intent to kill and knew he was receiving a death glare, although he chose to ignore it and proceeded to tape a fresh bandage over the wound.

Looking up at Kakashi, he grinned and patted the wound lightly, "There all better. Does Kaka-kun want a sucker for being good?"

"Bite me."

"Ugh. Not until you have a bath." Genma stood, wrinkling his nose and waving a hand in front of his face.

Kakashi grinned perversely, "So you would if I..."

"NO!"

* * *

"The last report put their location roughly near the border between Sound and Grass. Right where they should be if they have managed to stick to the plan." Sasuke ran his finger along a thin line on the large map spread out over Tsunade's desk. Shikamaru turned to stare out the darkened window. It was late, about the only time he and Sasuke could both visit the Hokage without raising any suspicion. 

"We knew hunter nins would be sent after them, but nothing like ANBU has reported. Without fear of retribution from Konoha, every shinobi country immediately ordered them to bring back their heads." Tsunade leaned back in her chair still eyeing the map, "We can only hope the added publicity will make it easier to earn Ryuujin's trust when they finally do cross paths."

"That wont be for another two and a half months." Shikamaru sighed, "We hope they make it that long without losing their heads."

* * *

"I still cant believe what they're saying about Kakashi-sempai and Genma-san. Especially not..." 

"But the rumors. It all makes sense doesn't it?"

Sakura shot Ino a dirty look, "You didn't know him. Would you believe it if it was Asuma-sempai?"

"If he was alive...no, I wouldn't believe it." Ino muttered softly.

"I wouldn't either. There is something very wrong with this whole assassination story."

"Sakura, there were witnesses. Not just villagers, other shinobi who also deserve out trust. And you treated Gaara yourself. He's a Kazekage, he wouldn't lie about being attacked." Ino whispered.

Sakura seem to consider her friends words, then shook her head, "No. Something is wrong. There's more to this..."

"I knew that Hatake would turn eventually. He's no better than his old man." a voice carried over the crowd and Sakura's ears instantly perked up as her head turned towards the man she couldn't see. "Coward, running around Fire Country in hiding. Suppose to be all bad ass and what have you. Why doesn't he just off himself like his trash..."

Sakura stood, eyes searching the crowd for the piece of crap mouth she was going to stuff her fist into. She surged forth, pushing people aside angrily as a blonde blur and a loud crash erupted near the bar. Ino hot on her heals, "Move it or lose it buddy!" She could hear her friend cursing behind her as she shoved past the last person.

"Don't ever speak about my friend like that you piece of shit! Hatake Kakashi is a better man than you will ever be!" Naruto's grip on the shinobi's throat tightened, his teeth bared, red eyes burning with rage.

"Naruto." Sakura hadn't meant to whisper, but the sight of her friend broke her heart. All the anger she had planned to take out on the terrified man pinned to the wall slipped away as she walked up behind the angry blonde, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, "He's not worth it."

Sakura's soft voice and hand chipped away at his rage, but instead of letting the man go, Naruto turned to face the nearby crowd, "That goes for all of you. I don't want to hear even a whisper from anyone about Hatake Kakashi or Shiranui Genma. Is that clear?" he growled. Several heads nodded and others just stared unsure of themselves. Some lowered their eyes or backed away.

"Naruto."

Hinata's small voice seemed to crack the wall of rage he was desperately clinging to and it finally crumbled away. His eyes turned back to blue and he released the man, letting him drop to the floor, red marks where his nails had dug into the skin. Hinata placed her hand on Naruto's cheek and turned his face to look at her, "He'll come back."

She seemed so sure of what she was telling him that Naruto couldn't help believing her. Nodding his head, he turned and wrapped his arms around her tightly, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Sakura looked back at Ino who merely shook her head. She didn't know what to think anymore. Sakura and Naruto seemed so sure that their long time mentor and friend was innocent and would return, she had no choice but to trust their instincts.

When Naruto turned to leave, Hinata's hand tucked securely in his own, he was surprised to find a pair of dark eyes staring back at him, "He stomped you into the ground and you still believe in him. He all but admitted he was leaving and you still trust that he will come back. What makes you so sure dobe?"

"Because you came back and your more of an ass than he has ever been, and that's including his rude behavior this last year." Naruto grinned slightly.

Sasuke's mouth twitched in an attempt to hide his own smile. Naruto had always been able to inspire people, heal them, beat some sense into them, and trust them when no one else would. He believed Naruto's ability to understand and have compassion for other's pain and suffering was his greatest strength. 'And the fact that he never gives up didn't hurt either.' Sasuke turned away from his friend to hide his smirk and led the way out of the bar.

* * *

"Are you going to eat that?" 

Genma glared at his friend and snatched the last black insect off the leaf plate stuffing it into his mouth. He tried to keep a straight face, but who could when your mouth was full of something crunchy and slimy and tasted like it had shit as a last ditch effort to get revenge.

Genma's face began to contort and turn a slight shade of green, "Drink before you puke up your dinner." Kakashi laughed and tossed him his canteen.

Taking the canteen, he twist off the top and gulped down as much water as he could, then swished some around to get all the little bits and pieces before taking another long drink. "Next time, I get to pick the restaurant." he coughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Suit yourself, but no sushi." Kakashi shivered, "And your buying."

Genma dug a piece of bug wing out from between his teeth and flicked it off his finger into the dirt "I hate to say this, but I cant wait to get to that dragon ass's lair..."

"Dragon God." Kakashi corrected with a sarcastic smirk, stabbing his kunai into the dirt again and again in search of desert.

"Whatever. I just wish the next month would just pass already so we can finally sleep in a bed and eat real food."

"You think he's going to be that generous, or that trusting right away? It may take a while after we accidentally on purpose cross into his territory and do something amazingly stupid to catch his attention. Then we have to convince him he cant live without us so he will invite us in for tea. After that..."

"I GET THE FUCKIN POINT ASSHOLE!" Genma yelled, too frustrated to care if every hunter nin in the area had just discovered their location. He was about to toss Kakashi's sorry ass to them and make a break for Konoha, accepting his arrest for bailing on a shitty mission and handing the great Copy brat to the enemy. "I didn't ask to come on this piece of shit mission with the craziest son of bitch in Fire Country!"

"Then why are you here?" Kakashi's eyes seemed fixated on the soft upturned dirt between his legs, his voice barely above a whisper, "You could have stayed in Konoha and let me do what I set out to do on my own."

Genma tugged at his hair for lack of anything else to do to take out his frustration. He wanted to scream and kick and slap some sense into his partner. They were right back where they had started in the hotel room. Kakashi's reasons for suggesting the mission in the first place and wether it had anything to do with his odd behavior lately. "You self absorbed arrogant fuck!"

Kakashi half heartedly pushed off the ground and headed for the nearby stream, pretending to ignore Genma's curses and accusations. He knew they were both just too exhausted to let the argument carry on until one of them finally threw a punch. Although, he was surprised that he wasn't angrier at the irrate jonin. 'I should have already pounded his ass into the ground.' he sighed heavily, kneeling down by the waters edge and dipping his canteen under the surface, 'I must be losing my edge.'

Kakashi was so busy thinking about what his partner had said, both in the hotel and recently, that he didn't hear the man approach until he was face down in the stream, a hand at the back of his head holding him in place. His reaction time had apparently been affected by the lack of sleep and proper food because it took him several seconds for things to click before he started fighting back.

Elbowing Genma in the nose, Kakashi pushed up on hands and knees and inhaled sharply trying to fill his lungs with oxygen again, then coughed hard, "What...the...hell...is...wrong...with you!?" But all Kakashi heard in response was whimpering and Genma rolling back and forth on the ground behind him, "You broke my nose!"

"Serves you right!" Kakashi rolled onto his butt and pressed his hand to his face where a rock had cracked his cheek, blood mixing with the water dripping from his hair down his face. Genma rolled towards him and pushed up, still clutching his nose in one hand. Kakashi looked up from the blood on his hand just in time to see the foot coming at his face.

Genma stood up, staggering slightly and pointed down at the jonin laying on his back across the stream, "You've been asking for..." But before he could finish, he cursed loudly and his back hit the ground hard, the rock that had ricocheted off his forehead rolled several feet away.

Both men lay staring up at the dark forest canopy, breathing hard against the pains they had inflicted upon each other. Genma nursing a broken nose and a lump on his forehead, Kakashi a busted lip and cut along his cheekbone just under a huge bruise. It was quiet for several long minutes, except for the occasional cough or groan.

Kakashi was the first to start laughing.

Just a chuckle, then he couldn't stop himself and it continued to elevate to a hysterical, cant catch your breath kind of laugh.

Genma lifted his head and glared.

Then slowly a smile spread across his face and he shook his head, letting it fall back onto the mossy ground. The ridiculousness of the situation, his ranting and cursing, the bug meals, all adding to the fact that they could be attacked at any moment for being the loudest living thing in a ten mile radius just made it all the more funny.

Not to mention, they had just fought like a couple of school yard boys instead of the shinobi they were suppose to be.

It was a full ten minutes before either of them could keep themselves from bursting out in riotous laughter just by looking at the other.

Genma smiled at Kakashi, "I knew the great Copy brat had a funny bone somewhere in that skinny ass body." he grabbed a handful of moss and tossed it at the silver haired jonin.

Kakashi batted it away still grinning, then after a few minutes he closed his eyes, "You were right. Sort of."

Genma's smile fell away, replaced with mild shock, but he didn't interrupt. He was finally getting what he wanted, the truth, straight from his partners mouth. It almost seemed too good to be true he thought, watching the jonin across from him.

Kakashi draped his arms over his knees, "There is something wrong with me and I did suggest this mission for selfish intentions. I never intended to involve you or anyone else in this. Im sorry Genma." Kakashi's mismatched eyes met Genma's brown.

"Maybe that's part of your problem."

Kakashi frowned, apparently confused.

"Your trying to go it alone. Solving this problem of yours. Maybe that is part of the problem. People aren't meant to be alone all the time Kakashi. Even shinobi need someone other than themselves."

Genma pushed up and walked over to Kakashi, holding out a hand to his friend who's eyes had become thoughtful and unfocused.

After a moment, Kakashi blinked up at the hand, seemingly surprised by its sudden appearance. He hadn't even heard or seen Genma get up. And yet he stood directly in front of him. Then looking past the hand to Genma's face, he took a deep breath before taking his friends offer, letting him pull him to his feet.

"That's twice you've snuck up on me today. I think we should look for a small out of the way inn and indulge ourselves before we get killed by a stray rock."

"Or elbow." Genma smiled and patted Kakashi on the back.

"Or foot." Kakashi chukled.


	6. Blue Balls and Poisoned Coffee

**Author's Notes:** Yeah yeah! I know, another long delay between chappy's. Im truly sorry. RL just keeps dragging me away and writer's block makes me stare at my monitor for hours at a time before my eyes cross and I have to finally admit defeat and go to bed. BUT...I hope this chapter makes up for making you all wait. AND...I will be updating my other stories now that I have finally finished this chappy. On to the story!

* * *

**Blue Balls and Poisoned Coffee**

"Hungry?" Sasuke smirked, his hands held against the heat of the fire as he crouched in front of it watching the two men over the flames. Neither shinobi paid any attention as they continued to stuff their faces. Sasuke thought that even if Kyuubi itself had ripped it's way out of Naruto's body and was about to kill the two jonin, they wouldn't notice.

By the time Shikamaru looked up from the scrolls he had been pouring over, Kakashi and Genma were passed out next to a set of empty bento's, "I guess the last two months dodging hunter nins took its toll."

"Maybe just a little bit." Sasuke moved to the mouth of the cave, pulling his cloak tight around him, "Let the dobes sleep, Ill take the first watch."

Shikamaru grunted his approval, his attention already back on the scrolls spread out around him. Every possible scenario had to be considered and various options presented for each in the event something did go wrong. The mission must be a success. There was no room for failure given the situation. Weapons as destructive as the ones that had been tested on villages along the borders of Wind could not be allowed to exist he thought scribbling notes from the scroll Genma had given him.

Sasuke glanced over at the strategist, "You know, if you stare at something long enough you start to see things that aren't really there."

"According to their information, rumors about Ryuujin suggest he has a weakness for rare items. It could be the key to getting them into his fortress."

"Items? How is that going to help? It's not like Kakashi and Genma are toting around a priceless painting."

"Im not sure yet." Shikamaru looked over the two sleeping shinobi, "I guess we don't have a choice but to wait till morning to figure it out."

Sasuke turned, leaning against the jagged wall. Already eight months of their lives revolved around this mission. But the most difficult and dangerous part was about to begin. How long would it take his team mates to get the information they needed and come home?

Since the mission had begun, three seasons had already passed, one into the other. The fourth had finally covered most of the country with a beautiful layer of white. How many more would come and go before the mission came to an end?

He hoped not many for Kakashi and Genma's sake.

When the two shinobi finally appeared at the edge of the clearing, he felt relieved to see them still alive and in one piece. But upon closer inspection, both men were much thinner than when they had left Konoha. Genma had simply handed over their report and headed straight for the cave, collapsing against the wall, Kakashi not far behind.

Sasuke inhaled the cool air and let it out slowly, watching his breath curl like a cloud on the wind. 'That was only an hour ago.' he thought glancing back at the two slumbering shinobi curled up against the cold and as close to the fire as they could get.

Both men seemed to have fallen asleep the moment they hit the floor of the cave, the sound of the pack landing between them didn't even peek their curiosity. At least not until their keen sense of smell alerted them to the two overstuffed bento boxes hiding inside. The moment they realized there was real food, it had been every man for himself.

'I'm surprised the pack survived the attack.' Sasuke smirked, turning back to his post.

He remembered being alone for a long time before returning to Konoha. Living the way Kakashi and Genma had been forced to live the last two months. It wasn't a life he would wish upon any one of his precious people he thought looking up at the vast blanket of stars. Pulling his hood over his head, he silently wished it were snowing now, like it had for days before they arrived to meet their companions.

Clear skies meant colder nights.

* * *

"Shit." Genma cursed wrapping his cloak around his shoulders and heading for the cave entrance. 

"What's his problem?" Sasuke asked, curiously watching the man hopping up and down for moment before running off out of sight.

"He's worried little Genma will freeze and fall off. Been holding it for hours now." Kakashi grinned pouring a tin cup to the brim with freshly cooked coffee.

"I didn't think you were a coffee drinker."

"I am today." Kakashi smirked before gulping down the entire cup of steaming mud.

Coffee brewed over an open fire was never a good idea. But he wasn't going to complain after spending two months consuming things he felt might still be wiggling around somewhere in the deep pit of his gut.

"I have this theory that I could thaw myself out from the inside." he added in a strained voice, trying hard not to look disgusted or in pain, which he decided was more difficult without his mask to hide behind.

Sasuke tossed another log on the fire, "Well don't complain later when it comes out the other end. Shika made it. And we all know how well he cooks."

Kakashi glanced down into his cup and stuck a finger in to dig something out, flicking it on the ground, "Maybe Ryuujin will think we've been poison and take pity on us."

Genma darted in from the cold still cursing under his breath as he quickly made his way back to his perch next to Kakashi, holding his hands as close to the fire as he dared, "I've got the worst case of blue balls in the history of Fire Country and it has nothing to do with sex." his teeth chattered.

"Would you three shut the hell up already." Shikamaru frowned, not bothering to look up at the three jonin who seemed to fall right back into their lazy mode as if they were sitting in ANBU headquarters making small talk and paper shuriken again.

Genma eagerly poured himself a cup of coffee, wrapping his hands around it just to keep warm, "Where were we? Weakness or something right?"

"Blue balls."

"Poison coffee."

Shikamaru closed his eyes and counted to ten, Sasuke and Kakashi grinned at each other over the fire, Genma sniffed his coffee suspiciously.

"I was saying, Shiranui, that Ryuujin collects rare items. It's a weakness on his part because he covets them and sometimes goes out of his way to obtain them...according to _your _own notes shit head." Shikamaru reminded the senbon sucking shinobi in a rather sarcastic tone, chucking a scroll at the his head.

"I think the boss is pissed at you Genma, he called you by your last name." Sasuke smirked.

"He also called me a shit head, but Im not worried."

"Priceless. The word the informant used was priceless." Kakashi corrected, sounding bored.

"Well, don't look at me. I left all my rare and unique possessions back in Konoha." Genma quipped, pulling his turtleneck up over his face.

The four shinobi fell silent, the only obstacle that lay between them and Ryuujin, weighing heavily on their minds. They would need something the self proclaimed God would desire, but couldn't use against them or anyone else. Something they could risk losing without Tsunade beating the crap out of them.

"Sasuke. Can you go back to Konoha and bring me something I left behind?"

Genma looked at Kakashi as if he'd lost his mind, Sasuke raised a curious eyebrow, but Shikamaru glared disapprovingly, "I don't think Ryuujin would consider your collection of Icha Icha priceless."

* * *

He had examined every inch of the grounds before entering, noting that all the windows and doors had been boarded up and sealed for many years. Although a few of the seals had recently been replaced, no other visible effort had been made to maintain the property. The house he was suppose to break into turned out to be an estate comparable to the Uchiha home he was born in. It was large, but not ostentatious. There were no fancy additions to the exterior. No family emblems or fancy gardens. He thought it was beautiful for all its simplicity. 

Sasuke took a few minutes to let his eyes adjust. Even the sunlight that shined through the open door didn't allow him to see much further than the small entrance. His eyes roamed over the room. To the hooks on the wall where the family would have hung their cloaks in winter. The benches where they would have sat to remove their shoes. The empty planter in the corner where he was sure a lush green plant had once made guests feel welcome.

It was completely silent.

Empty.

Dead.

Like the family that had lived here.

He briefly wondered what other secrets his sempai was keeping from him as he made his way through the first room into the main hall, running his hand over the wood frame of the door. His finger tracing the detailed carvings. The normally stoic Uchiha couldn't help admiring the quality of craftsmanship that had gone into the construction.

He imagined the house reflected the Hatake's themselves, strong yet humble.

It was certainly the way he saw his sempai. The man never boasted about anything. He doubted that anyone knew Hatake Kakashi as well as they thought they did. Sasuke thought about the mans behavior over the last year, 'Nearly a year and a half now.' he corrected himself.

Wiping his dusty fingers on the inside of his cloak, he set about in search of the item he had been sent to retrieve. '_Continue straight ahead until you reach a door.'_ Dust curled up around his feet with every step and a trail of footprints followed him like a ghost. It was unusual for a families dojo to be located in the center of the home, but Kakashi had called it the heart of his family and that was something Sasuke could understand.

Sasuke glanced down the hallway on either side before stepping up to the double door. It was the only one he could see in the dark hallway, right where it should be, directly ahead of the main entrance. Grabbing the bird shaped handles gently, he slid them away from each other. He was surprised that the room appeared brighter than the rest of the house. Breathing a silently plea for forgiveness for not removing his shoes, he stepped into the room and looked around.

Like the rest of the house, it was simple and dramatic at the same time with similar detailed carvings in the wood posts and door frames. But what caught his eye was the set of four glass panes set into the ceiling. The soft moonlight casting an eerie glow over the room. There were several plant pots lining the walls, empty like the one near the entrance and every one he had passed in the hallway. The reason for the skylight windows he decided.

Apparently the Hatake's loved plants.

Walking along the edge of the room, Sasuke took in every detail. From the various weapons decorating the walls to the small shrine opposite of the door he had entered. Everything was coated in a protective layer of dust and the air was thick with the ghosts of the past. It reminded him of the few times he had returned to his old home.

Sasuke took a slow deep breath and turned back to the shrine, his eye catching something he hadn't noticed before. The floor appeared darker, even beneath the layer of dust. It appeared to be a dark shadow cast down by on object in the path of the moonlight. Crouching down he swiped his hand over the wood floor, pushing aside the dust and exposing the stained wood.

His breath caught in his throat and he stood abruptly, marching over to the small shrine, feeling behind it for the long wooden box. After a moments fumbling and reaching as far as his arm would fit, his fingers closed over the object and he gently pulled it up. The moment he had it safely tucked into his vest, he turned and walked swiftly from the room, gently closing the doors behind him.

No longer mindful of anything other than leaving, Sasuke hurried up the hallway, back through the small room, stepped out the front door and stopped. Breathing in the cool night air as if he had been suffocating the entire time he had spent inside the abandoned house, he wondered if his sempai felt the same smothering feeling of sadness when he entered his old home.

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what's in the box?" 

"No."

"Im hurt by your lack of trust." Genma pouted.

"Don't be such a baby. We're going to be staying in an Inn. Isn't that what you wanted?" Kakashi bit back in annoyance.

"Yes. But for how long? Until another next hunter nin tries to take our heads?"

"That or until I kill you myself for driving me insane. Stop whining."

"Im not whining. Im verbally expressing my discomfort with your lack of confidence in my abilities as a shinobi by not revealing to your partner the secret object that will assure our invitation to join one deviantly deranged individual's socially deficient band of misfits."

"Your very articulate this morning. Did you swallow a dictionary for breakfast?"

"Just tell me what's in the box and I wont say another word until we reach the Inn."

Kakashi seemed to debate the offer, then reaching into his pack he pulled out a box and handed it to Genma, "You didn't specify which box." he offered when Genma's face turned red and he chucked the box of condoms at Kakashi's head.

"That's not what I meant and you know it asshole. And why the hell are you carrying a box of condoms around with you? Planning to fuck your way into Ryuujins stronghold?"

Kakashi stood up and gave Genma a lecherous grin, "Is that an...?"

"NO!" Genma yelled before he could finish.

Kakashi sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Your no fun on suicide missions Genma-kun."

True to his word, the brown haired, senbon sucking shinobi didn't say another word for the rest of their journey. Although he did cast angry glances at the silver haired jonin from time to time and mumbled under his breath. 'Twisted fuck' and 'mentally handicapped' were only a few of the insults and curses that Kakashi had overheard during their twelve hour hike to the out of the way Inn.

"You call this an Inn?" Genma growled through gritted teeth.

"What did you expect? Hot springs and beautiful women?"

"I expected something without rats and cockroaches."

"Don't forget the bed bugs and mosquitos." Kakashi slapped the side of his neck and wiped the dead insect on his pant leg.

"I hate you." Genma hissed in his face and headed off up the small dirt trail.


	7. Stick Figures and Yellow Waterfalls

**Author's Notes: **Ok. Here it is. The next installment of Unsettled. Im not completely happy with this. My writer's block has been a huge pain in my butt for far too long. So Ive been forcing myself to write no matter what. Unfortunately, the result is complete rubbish in my opinion. But I will post this before I decide it's too horrible and delete or change something and have to start all over again.

By the way, I hate the title. I might change it later when my brain isnt melting out my ears.

* * *

**Stick Figures and Yellow Waterfalls**

"Holy fuck! That's not a rat it's one of your nin-dogs!" echoed from behind the bathroom door.

Kakashi rolled his eyes and yanked back the blankets, "Shit!" he jumped back and gave the scattering insects a sincere look of disgust before snatching the mildewed bedding and tossing it back in place.

Ok. So Genma had a right to bitch he thought suppressing a shiver.

Several loud bangs and curses later, Genma emerged from the bathroom, "I found your last girlfriend." Kakashi's eyes widened slightly and he took several steps back as his partner crossed to the window and tossed the diseased looking carcass out into the snow, "Make that your only girlfriend." Genma frowned reaching for the blanket.

"I wouldn't do that." Kakashi cautioned.

The senbon sucking shinobi closed his eyes and let the blanket drop back into place. Kakashi was sure he was silently cursing, silently praying, or silently devising a plan to kill him in his sleep. Perhaps all three.

"Genma."

"Don't. Don't speak to me."

"But..."

"No."

Genma grabbed his pack and disappeared into the bathroom. Kakashi walked over and pressed his ear to the door, listening to the random noises and hissed curses for a few minutes before he too disappeared.

Out the door and down the stairs.

He needed a drink.

* * *

The first thing Genma saw when he cracked his sleep encrusted eyes open was white. He frowned. Was he going blind? Blinking a bit he turned his head to peer over the edge of the bathtub, groaning from the crick in his neck. The second sight to greet his tired brown eyes was a yellow waterfall.

"Yo."

Kakashi smirked down at the jonin cramped into the five foot long porcelain tub and gave himself a quick jiggle before zipping up his pants and flushing the toilet.

"You're a pig." Genma groaned trying to roll away and smacking his head on the faucet, "Damn it!"

Kakashi opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by a very livid shinobi's glare promising death and pain and things Kakashi didn't want to imagine. He finished washing his hands and wiped them on his pants before heading back out into the room, "Foods hot if your interested."

Genma shot up from his half crouched position, feeling too many cracks and pops to be deemed healthy, "Oh please, just kill me now." he whimpered, pressing his forehead to the cool edge of the tub before crawling over and stumbling out into the bedroom, "My back."

Kakashi crouched in front of the half bent jonin and smirked, "Guess you shouldn't have slept in the tub."

"Just help me straighten so I can kill you."

"Can I eat first?"

Genma's eyes widened, "You really did find food? Real food? Not worms or insects or even half dead rat?"

Kakashi pouted playfully, pushing up and circling the crippled shinobi, "You have so little faith in me Genma-kun."

"Just fix me so I can eat." Genma growled.

Kakashi shrugged, "If you insist."

"GAH!! What the hell?" Genma spun around, hands on his ass trying to rub out the pain from the hard pinch he'd just received on both cheeks, "Your fu-"

Whatever curse he was about to throw at the grinning copy-nin was cut off by the warmest, sweetest, most amazingly fluffy piece of pancake he'd ever tasted.

"Mfgd!"

"There's more on the table." Kakashi smirked, licking the syrup off the fork before handing it to his partner.

Genma frowned at the utensil then decided he didn't care if the man slobbered on his food as well, he was starving and would eat anything that wasn't alive, dying or dead. Unless it was a medium rare steak he grinned and quickly glanced around the small room for the rest of the food.

Spotting the table in the corner, which he was sure had not been there the night before, he decided everything else could wait as he straddled the chair and began stuffing his face.

Kakashi sat on the edge of the bed, dragging his pack closer, pulling everything out and laying it on the mattress next to him, "Don't choke. I haven't had sex in...well...let's just say far too long. If I have to give you mouth to mouth you might like it and forget your not gay."

"AHA! That means you are! I finally got you to admit it!"

Kakashi flinched, reaching up to wipe the spray of food off his face, "And you call me a pig. At least I pissed in the toilet. Don't talk with your mouth full baka."

"I still got you to admit it." Genma grumbled, turning to hover over his plate.

"Yes. You caught me. I admitted that I haven't had sex in forever and you'd turn gay if I blew life back into your lungs." Kakashi rolled his eyes, shaking his head, "Lack of food and sleep turns you into a raving lunatic you know that?"

* * *

Genma breathed in the cool air and smiled. It was sunny for the first time in forever. His belly was full with something that didn't have legs and felt as if it were trying to crawl it's way to freedom. And he was wearing clean underwear.

Life was good.

Well as good as it got on an S-ranked undercover mission to hell he thought stretching any lingering kinks out of his back and neck, "So. What now?"

Kakashi slapped a piece of paper against his chest, "Shopping. We need to look as if we belong to this cockroach infested corner of the world, but not so much that Ryuujin's men wont notice two ex-Konoha shinobi in hiding. So do your best to look suspicious and fit in at the same time."

"What are you going to be doing?"

"Scouting."

"Why do you get to have all the fun and I get stuck with the chores?"

"Because while you were napping last night I cleaned the room, your dedicates and found food. The least you could have done is thanked me. Instead, you chose to argue over the bed rights so now you get to do the shopping." Kakashi said cheerfully, stepping off the front stoop of the dingy hotel slash Inn and making his way up the street.

Genma peeled the paper open and read off the list before glancing around. Funny how a place looked different during the day. It wasn't nearly as intimidating in the sunlight but it wasn't exactly home either.

Konoha would be clean and have streets with sidewalks. The snow would be scooped aside to allow villagers access to the shops. And people wouldn't smell like the animals they were tending Genma thought leaning away from the man trying to squeeze past him into the tavern.

This place looked as if it was frozen in time...about fifty years behind everyone else. The road was a frozen muddy minefield that even the best of oxen were having trouble traversing. The buildings were patched up with various pieces of materials. And the people looked nearly as old and worn as the buildings.

He couldn't understand why anyone stayed in such an unforgivable place.

A glance at the list and then the small town and he doubted he would be able to find everything they needed. But perhaps that's what Kakashi expected. If this town was under the direct control of the psychopath then buying black market goods provided by the self proclaimed God would make them more noticeable without making it look like they were trying to be noticeable.

Genma smiled, mentally patting himself on the back as he stepped off the stoop and headed in the opposite direction of his partner.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Carving an army out of logs. Where the hell did you think I was?" Kakashi gave his partner a disgruntled glare, tugging several rolled up papers out of his pouch and tossing them on the table before heading to the bathroom.

"I was beginning to wonder. But hey, if you die I get to go home. So don't do me any favors by being careful or anything." Genma frowned. He picked up the stack of papers, unrolling them and flipping through the diagrams trying to work out the silver haired nins scrawl, "Is this suppose to be the magic kingdom?"

"What do you mean _suppose_ to be?"

"Just tell me it's a step up from this place and Ill pack us up right now."

"You should have seen it Genma. It's a five star resort compared to this dump. Dragon breath's got..."

"Dragon God."

"Whatever. He's got a pool and sauna and gym and all sorts of things to make little boys happy."

"Really?"

"No." Kakashi's false smile disappeared and he snatched his work from the gullible shinobi.

"You're an ass."

"Maybe. But the look on your face just now was priceless. Kid in candy store meets horny teenage boy in girls dressing room."

"So what does Dragon ass..."

"God."

"Whatever." Genma rolled his eyes, "What _does_ he have in that castle of his?"

"Probably STD's that make his brain swell and cause paranoia because there wasn't one section of the outer wall that wasn't guarded or rigged to disembowel." Kakashi spread the papers out, aligning them to form one big untidy map and stabbing the corners with shuriken to keep them from rolling away.

"What are these?" Genma pointed to several stick figures.

"Guards. A crap load of them too by my calculations. Getting in is going to be a hell of a lot easier than getting out Im afraid."

"And this?"

"That would be a dead body. See the hangman's noose. Im guessing a girl who didn't like Ryuujin's idea of foreplay or something. Who knows. Who cares."

"I seem to recall a silver haired shinobi who actually gave a shit about other people once upon a time. Have you seen him lately? Tall. Not bad looking. Shitty taste in literature."

Kakashi tapped his chin for a moment, "Does he wear a mask?"

"That would be him."

"Haven't seen him."


End file.
